Friday Fellowship

Following Evening Prayer on Fridays, Fred, Gail and I started going for supper and enjoying some end-of-the-working-week fellowship (although all three of us are retired).

The numbers gradually grew and even some who originally declined our invitations started to attend. It might mean a “cheap-and-cheerful” meal at a local cafeteria, an all-day breakfast at a diner, or a more substantial meal, but the common denominator is that it suits everyone and that it most often includes going back home for yet more fellowship.

Last evening was typical. It happened to be CP’s birthday and he had invited some friends to Evening Prayer thinking that afterwards perhaps we could go to IHOP for celebratory pancakes. Meanwhile CM had called me to suggest a pot-luck at their home. Long-story short – a quick change of plan and fifteen of us (that includes CM’s dog Sammie) enjoyed a great evening which included a hilarious ping-pong (mis)match between Gail and CP, heaps of laughter, loads of love, and great food.

Fellowship and hospitality are essentials of Christianity. I thank God I’m a Christian.

A Busy Breakfast

A busy breakfast fellowship followed Morning Prayer this morning after we had celebrated the life of Timothy and Titus, faithful followers of Saint Paul. Just as I was locking up the church, M came over and explained he needed to get back to Raleigh after receiving some medical treatment. He was obviously anxious and declined breakfast, but was grateful for the help we gave him to get home.

Courtney, Dave and Gail had breakfast well under way by the time I got back into the parish house. B, a regular, who now has his own accommodation, brought M for breakfast. M who has been staying with B, was obviously so grateful and was busy organizing his and B’s grocery list - another case of “the poor helping the poor” - certainly a reminder to us all. Will, who had attended Morning Prayer, popped in to say hello and drink his daily OJ, whilst big S was cheerful as usual and managed to put a smile on everyone’s face – a wonderful gift of his.

The every faithful Dave and Tony were as usual, deep in conversation, while Jodi was organizing her two-year old’s breakfast of Cheerios.

Tuesday breakfast is always fun and could never be dull, especially with Courtney and Gail in form. At the 194^th Annual Convention of the NC Diocese last weekend, Bishop Michael Curry continued and expanded his “All Are Welcome” theme from last year. I thought of his words as I buttered my toast, drank my coffee and enjoyed the fellowship of our brothers and sisters. I felt welcomed by all those present. Praise God.

The scent of nostalgia

Some time ago a friend of mine told me he had been asked what attracted him to our church. He replied, "Among other things of course, it had the smell of a real church. Like a church should". To my mind, he's absolutely right - candle wax, a lingering scent of incense and furniture polish.

The scent of smell does play a large part in bringing back memories, for me anyway. My inspiration for this post comes from me sitting in front of my laptop and realizing that the steak and vegetable stew I put in the slow cooker is well on its way to becoming my supper later this evening. It's one of my favorite aroma's, together with freshly baked bread (thank heaven for the bread maker), freshly ground coffee, newly mown grass and that distinctive smell of a summer shower after a hot spell.

I can smell with my mind's nose (well, if you can see with your mind's eye!), my earliest days at school. Again, furniture polish and for some reason Lifebuoy soap are prominent here, plus the strong smell of Jeyes Fluid, used in the outside lavatories. Yes, you did read correctly - outside. We didn't linger there long during the cold Norfolk winters, believe me!

Although I only lived a few hundred yards from my school, I always stayed for school dinner. Boiled cabbage - I can remember that strong smell with somewhat disgust.

Other schoolboy smells (the mind boggles at that phrase) I can still envisage are: dubbin (when rubbing on my football boots); hot tar (as the road-men repaired the streets); burnt methanol at speedway meetings (I still love that smell); and one not so pleasant, but nonetheless one that brings back vivid and emotional memories - the smell of Dad's clothing after he had spent many hours working in the dairy and delivering milk.

Some smells puzzled me, such as why certain stores had the same aroma whatever the branch or town. Examples I remember most were "Woolie's" (F. W. Woolworth) and "Marks" (Marks & Spencer). It was probably the corporate design and the use of fittings that gave them that unique aroma. Without wishing to offend vegetarians, I loved the smell of a butcher's shop, "blood and sawdust", and how I loved the smell of a shoe shop - that's when shoes were made with leather, naturally.

Nowadays our noses are bombarded with artificial smells -perfume, air-fresheners, scented candles, but those natural favorites I mentioned to begin with are still tops for me.

What is my very favorite? After forty years in the book printing industry, it has got be the smell of a brand new book. They don't call me a crazy Englishman for nothing!

Decisions, decisions - part 4

Decisions are made virtually every second of our lives. Even when we sleep, decisions are made which effect our lives.

My first life-changing decisions were previously posted separately. This post combines three major ones within five years.

In the summer of 2000 we were to take our three (at that time) wonderful granddaughters on individual vacations of their choice. We always tried to have quality one-on-one time with them individually. So a great time was had with with 9 year-old Josie in historic Northumbria. A couple of weeks later, an equally great time with 7 year-old Asha in East Sussex exploring "Pooh Bear" country. On return, and before we had a chance to take dear Caitlin, then 5, anywhere, I suffered a mild, but nevertheless frightening, heart attack. Don't jump to any conclusions here - it was nothing to do with our girls - if anything, they helped me relax from the stresses of my work.

On recovering, thankfully fairly quickly, I was fortunate to be given the chance to take early retirement. An easy decision? I now think it was, but I'm not so sure I felt so then. After all, nine years early? With the support and encouragement, as always of Gail and our son and daughter, decision number 1 was made.

Before this, on various vacations, we had fallen in love with the southern Iberian Peninsular, and had talked about retiring there, either the Algarve or to neighboring Spain's Costa's. We now had an opportunity to do so, but would we take the plunge? It may have been brave, it may have been foolhardy, but finding on retirement that during my previously working hours the sun really didn't come out all that much, and that perhaps our finances could go stretch a little further in Andalusia, I started the research. There, decision number 2 made. Following our visit to North Carolina for our son's wedding, we did for a short time consider the possibility of moving to the US. However we stuck to our original plan, put our home on the market, sold most of our belongings and took a flight to Spain to check out the property in and around Málaga. UK property sold, Spanish property purchased, legal work completed and decision 2 carried through.

A good decision? Yes, although after four years and having visited North Carolina for an extended stay (Leslie, our daughter-in-law deserves sainthood for putting up with us), we realized we could never have made Spain our permanent home, even though we managed to have the quality time with each of our girls in turn, . . . so, let's start preparing for the big one - Decision Number Three!

This really was a big one. We really liked NC and after spending time here in the summer and winter months, checking out property (and the locals, and liking both), I still wasn't convinced. It took Gail quite a bit of persuasive argument to win me over. There was a great deal of agonizing, but eventually Gail's logic was spot on.

I have not regretted any of these decisions. Yes, we miss our family in England terribly, how could we not? But which one of our granddaughters spent nearly a month with us this past summer? If you are a regular reader you know the answer . . . . Caitlin had her quality time with Nan and Granddad after all.

Happy New Year!

As I look toward 2010 I hope and pray that it will be a healthy and peaceful one for everyone.

Before I start to look forward to 2010 I'm reflecting on some of many personal highlights of the past 365 days. In no particular order here goes:

• Celebrating 40 years of marriage to my best friend.
• Spending a month with Caitlin, our granddaughter from England, showing her the delights of North Carolina and DC - that was such fun.
• Becoming Senior Warden of our church.
• Having the honor of integrating with the homeless in our community and learning so much from them.

I feel blessed that there were many more, believe me.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

It's a Christmas Miracle!

Well, not quite. It reflects the exclamation that our daughter-in-law shouted when, on Christmas Day, I unveiled to her the doll house that I had just completed.

I must explain that I bought the doll house kit three years ago and have made several attempts to get started but my initial enthusiasm waned. I will say that Gail has been very patient (as always), but Leslie is a true Libra and has given me a lot of deserved grief to get me to get on with it.

However, Gail finally motivated me when a couple of months ago she declared, "If you are not going to build it, I will!" Woa! - that did it. It gave me the kick in the butt I needed and the project was completed two days before Christmas.

We still have to furnish our "new home"

Now for my next project. More of that later.

The true Christmas Miracle, was of course over 2,000 years ago. Now that is worth celebrating.

A Happy New Year to all, may it bring you peace, joy and good health.

Winter begins and Christmas is upon us

It's been a busy December for me so far and I cannot see that changing. We seem to have been at our church every day for one reason or another and we both have projects we are wanting to clear before Christmas Day.

The weekend's dusting of snow wasn't as bad as we had expected, but still enough to bring out the worst in drivers here. After speaking to family in Norfolk, England, it seems as if that county has been experiencing the same weather conditions as North Carolina - if anything Norfolk has been slightly colder.

We have seen an increase in those needing extra blankets and clothing during the past couple of weeks and I was overwhelmed at the response to an appeal for such. I know how much these are appreciated.

Our wonderful Deacon, the Rev. Maggie Silton, who spends much of her time at Urban Ministries in Durham, was our preacher on Sunday. I think her inspiring sermon needs to be shared with more than the congregation of St. Joseph's, so with her permission I reproduce it here:

Here we are again. Even though it comes around every year, the Fourth Sunday of Advent always seems to sneak up on us. It’s a busy time. There’s such a lot to do and seemingly not enough time in which to do it. I’m feeling a sense of urgency, and I suspect you are too.

There’s certainly a sense of urgency among our neighbors over at Urban Ministries. What’s even more noticeable is the sense of unease that pervades the place. You can almost reach out and touch it. There are more bad moods and arguments in the soup kitchen line than there are at other times. Too many people show up on the food pantry days and we have to turn several away. Earlier in the year this news might not elicit a strong reaction, but now it may result in an angry outburst, pleading, or even tears. This year is particularly difficult given the high rate of unemployment.

Some folks at Urban Ministries have a sudden sense of focus that they didn’t have just a few weeks earlier. James (all the names are changed), who normally seems perpetually distracted, is all of a sudden focused on getting a bus ticket back home to visit his grown children. Annie, who’s normally a fairly laid-back woman, goes into high gear to assemble all the trimmings of Christmas for her children. Alvin, who normally just hangs out on the corner, is suddenly looking for a way to make a little cash. Between my minimal Spanish and Maria’s halting English I learn that she will leave no stone unturned to make sure she has an extra blanket for a visiting relative.

The time leading up to Christmas is stressful for most of us, but even more so for the poor and homeless. In a season that’s so often defined by buying, how hard it is for those with no money for gifts. In a season that glorifies the concept of being home for the holidays, how devastating it is to have no home at all. In a season that celebrates families getting together, how painful it is to have blood ties strained by poverty, addiction, or abuse. In a season known for feasting, how sad it is to have little to put on the table. Even attending a church service this time of year seems daunting for those without even a coin to drop in the collection plate. For the broken in purse and spirit, Christmas is anything but merry. It’s a season of embarrassment, even shame.

This season may be painful even for those who are more prosperous. The dark secret hidden underneath that pile of presents may be a huge credit card debt. Family gatherings may expose the estrangement that lies behind the hearty greetings and forced festiveness. Christmas may well be an emotional and logistical nightmare for those who must tread carefully in the minefield of split families and step-relations. The anxieties and addictions we’ve held in check the rest of the year may get the better of us now. If we’ve lost friends and family members this past year we feel their absence sorely. In this season even those of us who are rich in worldly goods may feel poor on some level. We truly need some good news right now!

Good news is exactly what we get from today’s Gospel. The thing is, it doesn’t look like good news at first. Think about Elizabeth and Mary for a moment. Talk about embarrassment and shame! Elizabeth is pregnant at an age far past the acceptable age for childbearing. Her earlier childlessness was a problem in her world, to be sure, but this latest development could be seen as strange or even ominous. After all, to everything there is a season, and Elizabeth’s season for childbearing should be long past. And what about Mary? What do you think the neighbors were saying about this poor, unmarried teenager who claimed that an angel told her that she would become pregnant by the Holy Spirit? And if that’s not enough, consider what will happen to Elizabeth’s and Mary’s unborn sons. John the Baptist will be beheaded by Herod, and Jesus will be crucified by the Romans. Does this sound like good news to you?

At this point we may want to pause a moment and reflect. God’s ways are not our ways, and God’s values may not be the same as ours. As we’ve seen time and time again, God works through people and in situations that may appear very unpromising to us. In fact, God does some of God’s best work with powerless people whose lives most of us would consider impossible.

As first century women in Palestine, Mary and Elizabeth were certainly powerless. In their culture women had very little standing. They weren’t just women, but they were poor women as well.

But God saw these women differently than their contemporaries did. Remember that God chose Moses to deliver the Ten Commandments despite Moses’ stutter. Remember that God chose David, a younger brother and a lowly shepherd, to be be God’s anointed. In the case of David, Samuel explains that “The Lord does not see as mortals see, they look on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” The world’s standards of excellence and prestige don’t matter to God. What matters is what God finds in our hearts.

Luke expects us to make the connection between Mary and God’s work with the lowly. Mary’s song—known as the Magnificat—echoes the song of Hannah in First Samuel. Luke wants us to know that this choice of a low-status person isn’t an isolated incident or a novelty. Luke wants to make sure we understand that this is the way that God works. God judges and selects people not by worldly criteria but by what Martin Luther King called the content of their character.

Our lesson from Hebrews reinforces this idea. God isn’t impressed by our outward and material actions and appearance but by our inward and spiritual condition manifested in obedience to God’s will. Hebrews tells us, “Sacrifices and burn offerings you have not desired, but a body you have prepared for me” and “See, I have come to do your will.” What God wants is an obedient and willing heart, not a big show. God isn’t interested in having us bow and scrape to prove our love for God. God would rather we incarnated God’s love for us and show forth God’s praise, as the Prayer Book says, “not only with our lips but in our lives.”

So God’s ways are not our ways, and if you look all over scripture you’ll find plenty of evidence. Isaiah announces God’s reversal of the so-called natural order of things by saying, “Every valley shall be lifted up, and every mountain and hill be made low.” Doesn’t that remind you of Mary’s words in today’s Gospel lesson? She says of God, “He has brought down the powerful from their thrones, and lifted up the lowly.”

Mary’s next words announce that “God has filled the hungry with good things and sent the rich away empty.” Where else in scripture have we heard words like these? We’ve heard them in the Beatitudes. Every one of the Beatitudes is a reversal of what we think is the usual order of things. We don’t think of the poor in spirit, or those who mourn, or the meek, or those who hunger and thirst for righteousness as blessed, yet Jesus says they are.

But Jesus in the Beatitudes and Luke in our reading today aren’t talking about how things are in their culture or in ours. They’re talking about who is blessed and who is valued in a community that looks forward to the coming of the kingdom. Here is real Gospel, good news about what the kingdom is like and good news about what and whom the kingdom values.

Jesus never said, blessed are the rich and powerful. God didn’t choose the daughter of the chief rabbi or the temple high priest to be the mother of Jesus. Instead, God chose Mary, a poor young girl from Nazareth. Jesus wasn’t born on a soft bed in a palace but on straw in a stable among the barnyard animals. The shepherds are the first to learn of Jesus’ birth in Luke’s Gospel. Remember, shepherds occupied the lowest rung of the social ladder.

Do you see the picture here? Jesus never said it was fun or lucky or enjoyable to be poor, but he said it was blessed. God is with the poor. I don’t know about you, but I’ve never run into Jesus at a country club or at the mall. I never even ran into him at Duke Divinity School. But I think I’ve met him in a soup kitchen a time or two, and I’m willing to believe he stays in the shelter from time to time.

God is with the poor, and poverty is only partly about money. There isn’t anyone among us who isn’t poor in some way. Many of us are poor in purse and many others of us are poor in health or poor in spirit. There is not a person on this planet who isn’t broken in some way or another. We all have our wounds, inside and out. This season, as we prepare to welcome God into our midst in the form of a homeless baby, let us welcome God into our brokenness so that it may be healed. Let us welcome God into our hearts and experience a transformation beyond any we could ever ask for or even imagine. Come Lord Jesus, heal us and save us. Amen.

Amen, indeed.

Have a joyous and blessed Christmas.